According to my neurologist, I'm to report any new neurological symptoms. It's difficult to report anything to my neurologist considering the next available appointment for existing patients is not until November. How f'ing ridiculous is that?

Anyhow, the past few days I've noticed, and this is hard to describe, that my chin and the portion underneath my lower lip seem to quiver for no reason when I relax my face. I use the word "relax" because I typically have some sort of facial expression and rarely have a totally relaxed face. Even when I'm in deep thought, reading, or doing something on my iPhone, I always have a facial expression that requires the use of muscles to generate a facial expression. Granted, it doesn't happen every time I relax my face, but still.

Although this may seem minor, it's still disconcerting. I had a stroke to the left side of my cerebellum resulting in about 50% damage to the left side. So if this is stroke related, why is it affecting both the left and right sides of my chin/lower lip? I'd like to chalk it up to the latest change in my psych meds.

Is this considered a neurological symptom? Do I want to know? I'm thinking the answers may be possibly yes and probably no respectively.

In other news on the negative news front, I received a statement of benefits from my insurance company regarding my ER visit. The cost for my ER visit, including three CAT scans - $12,658! Of that, I'll have to pay 20%. Yay! Add that to the other $12,000 some odd dollars I already owe the same hospital from my ICU stay last year. Unfortunately, the latter balance is 100% my responsibility.

Meanwhile, on the good news front, I won a copy of Stephen King's latest novel, Mr. Mercedes. I had forgotten I entered a contest on his website. I arrived home today and found a package from Simon and Schuster. I knew there was a book inside but had no idea why one would have been sent to me. It's not a signed copy, but hey, I won something! It's the little things that make me happy these days.

Sarcasm and Humor Help

During my nine-day stay in a hospital Neuro ICU, I wasn't able to keep my sarcastic nature at bay.  According to my parents, I was born sarcastic.

Here are things I said that probably shouldn't be said when being treated for a stroke:

Doctor: 'You've had a stroke.'

Me:  'HOLY SHIT. Oh, sorry for the outburst.'

Doc: 'That's okay. I would have said the same.'

Psychologist  sent to assess me: 'Are you afraid of anything at home?'

Me: 'Only during tornados and storms. I'm afraid of trees falling on the house.'

Psychologist: 'Have you ever done anything to harm yourself?'

Me: "I'm sure my diet and lack of exercise haven't helped.'

Psychologist: 'Will you be worried about anything when you leave the hospital?'

Me: 'Yes, how I'm going to pay the bill.'

A neurosurgeon told me surgery (decompression craniectomy) would be performed as a 'last resort'.

Neurosurgeon upon entering room (looking very serious to give me an update regarding possible surgery): 'Um...'

Me: 'So, do I get to choose the spot where you drill and cut into my skull?'

Neurosurgeon: 'No, we'd do it at the top and wouldn't shave off as much hair as you might think. But, I have things to do this weekend, so I'd rather not have to come in to do surgery'.

Me: 'I'd hate to interrupt your tee time.'

He left the room shaking his head. He didn't appreciate my humor, obviously. 

Fortunately for us both, I narrowly escaped the surgery although he did return to visit quite frequently.

Boss, not yet aware of why I was in hospital: 'How are you feeling?'

Me: 'Pretty shitty. I had a stroke so I won't be in Monday.

My mom: 'Stop being so chipper, people will think nothing is wrong with you!'

Me: 'I think the MRI and CT scans say otherwise'.

The point of sharing these snarky moments - humor definitely helps lessen stress. Despite any possible deficits, I  never thought I wouldn't come out of my nightmare okay.  Granted I may have been the only one who found myself humorous, sarcasm definitely helped me get through it, both during and after my hospital stay. 

Why I Fear Headaches

It's been ten long months since my stroke yet every time I have a headache I have a minor freak out moment (actually a few minutes, okay, longer than a few).

A little background... I was violently woken at 3am by my cerebellar stroke. I was fast asleep and then BOOM, I was wide awake. I had very violent vertigo that felt as though my body was spinning out-of-control backward (feet over head) over and over and over again at a fast rate of speed.

I gripped the comforter hoping to stabilize myself, but that didn't work, hell, I couldn't even feel the bed beneath me. I was yelling "Oh my God, help me, help me, help me" to my sleeping husband who had no idea what the hell was going on when he woke.

The entire back of my head and neck were in excruciating pain - worse than any migraine you can imagine. My neck felt as though it had been beaten with a baseball bat and my head with a hammer (not that I have any idea what either feel like, but it's the best way I can describe it).

I didn't go to the emergency room for four days but that's a different story entirely. When I finally made it to the ER, I described the headache (still there but worse) and vertigo in such detail that the ER doc knew something was seriously wrong neurologically. I've read a number of cases where people go to an ER thinking they have vertigo or severe dizziness and are told by doctors, yep, thats what's wrong, when actually they've learned later they've had an artery dissection (vertebral or carotid) and/or stroke.

Anyhow, the point of this post... (and again, I'm not offering medical advice!) Last night I had a headache on the back left side of my head - the side where the dissection and stroke occurred. It didn't feel like a typical headache and it wasn't exactly the same or as excruciating as with the stroke. It's times like these when I wonder if I should go to an ER or if I'm just being paranoid. I struck out the ER option as I wasn't having vertigo or dizziness while doing the "touch my finger/touch your nose" test with my husband.

Should you ever find yourself at an ER for vertigo or dizziness, be sure the doctor performs this test. It was this test that told the ER doc that I definitely had something wrong neurologically. I failed the test as I had Nystqgmus (Wikipedia can show you show what it looks like and describes it in detail). She ordered an MRI and CT scan, but "touch my finger/touch your nose" may have made the difference between being told I had vertigo and to go home rather than being diagnosed correctly!

Headache, Neck Ache and Brain Injury, Oh My!

I've always had frequent headaches which I've attributed to stress and/or sinus infections. One day I began having head and neck aches of a different type.

My vertebral artery dissection occurred on the left side. Beginning four months prior to and sporadically until my stroke, the back left side of my neck and head hurt terribly, almost daily. I took any number of over-the-counter medications to combat the pain but it was usually back again the next day. I simply chalked it up to stress and decided I should see a massage therapist; never saw one, though.

I had three or four scary occasions prior to the stroke that were indicative of vertebral artery dissection (one involved trying not to do a face plant in a parking garage on day two of a new job). Each time I felt progressively dizzy with gradually impaired walking ability; more so stumbling. Self-diagnosis (shame on me!) revealed I had occasional but severe vertigo.  I saw my general practitioner but was told he could not definitively say why I was having vertigo. Tests of my heart and whatnot were normal. So, as these dizzying occasions were rare, on my merry way I went until 3am morning day of the stroke (yes it was a VERY rude awakening - pun intended).

Nine months later and I'm still wondering if there was anything I could have done to prevent the stroke.

Vertebral Artery Dissection, Anyone?

My stroke was the result of a vertebral artery dissection (VAD). A VAD can be caused by any number of innocuous occurrences: hyper-extension of the neck while painting a ceiling; having your hair washed in a shampoo bowl at a salon; car accident; even wild and crazy and/or rough sex.

To my knowledge (covering my ass here - I am NOT a medical professional),  there's absolutely no rhyme or reason as to who can have a VAD.

How about you? Ever suffered, or know anyone who has, a VAD?

Why I Decided to Blog - A Brief Intro to My Brain's Adventures

So why start a blog? Because everyone else is doing it.  Of course that's not my answer. First and foremost, please note that I am extremely sarcastic at times, so reader beware.

And now for a few moments of seriousness... Over the last nine months, I've had more than ample time (too much damn time) to ponder why my brain decided to malfunction at the ripe old age of 42 years. Prior to the last nine months, since 1999, I've been wondering the same about my brain yet for an altogether different reason.

Nine months ago I had a completely out-of-the blue major cerebellar stroke. Fun, huh? Especially at the ripe old age of 42 years. There's more to why and how the stroke occurred but I will revisit that in future posts. Let's just say that, depending on which reference or doc you choose to believe, the odds of what led to my stroke are 1:100k. Geez, I must be lucky!

Flashback to 1999... At age 28, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. That discovery wasn't even remotely as shocking as recently being told I'd had a major stroke. So, more on my bipolar brain in future posts too.

If given a choice, which would you choose, being "touched" with bipolar disorder or having a major stroke (cerebellar or other)? Like I said before, I've had a somewhat torturous amount of time to ponder that question and more. And that's the main reason I decided to start a blog.