Sarcasm and Humor Help

During my nine-day stay in a hospital Neuro ICU, I wasn't able to keep my sarcastic nature at bay.  According to my parents, I was born sarcastic.

Here are things I said that probably shouldn't be said when being treated for a stroke:

Doctor: 'You've had a stroke.'

Me:  'HOLY SHIT. Oh, sorry for the outburst.'

Doc: 'That's okay. I would have said the same.'

Psychologist  sent to assess me: 'Are you afraid of anything at home?'

Me: 'Only during tornados and storms. I'm afraid of trees falling on the house.'

Psychologist: 'Have you ever done anything to harm yourself?'

Me: "I'm sure my diet and lack of exercise haven't helped.'

Psychologist: 'Will you be worried about anything when you leave the hospital?'

Me: 'Yes, how I'm going to pay the bill.'

A neurosurgeon told me surgery (decompression craniectomy) would be performed as a 'last resort'.

Neurosurgeon upon entering room (looking very serious to give me an update regarding possible surgery): 'Um...'

Me: 'So, do I get to choose the spot where you drill and cut into my skull?'

Neurosurgeon: 'No, we'd do it at the top and wouldn't shave off as much hair as you might think. But, I have things to do this weekend, so I'd rather not have to come in to do surgery'.

Me: 'I'd hate to interrupt your tee time.'

He left the room shaking his head. He didn't appreciate my humor, obviously. 

Fortunately for us both, I narrowly escaped the surgery although he did return to visit quite frequently.

Boss, not yet aware of why I was in hospital: 'How are you feeling?'

Me: 'Pretty shitty. I had a stroke so I won't be in Monday.

My mom: 'Stop being so chipper, people will think nothing is wrong with you!'

Me: 'I think the MRI and CT scans say otherwise'.

The point of sharing these snarky moments - humor definitely helps lessen stress. Despite any possible deficits, I  never thought I wouldn't come out of my nightmare okay.  Granted I may have been the only one who found myself humorous, sarcasm definitely helped me get through it, both during and after my hospital stay.